a return

When I go too long without journaling I end up feeling panicky, anxious, overloaded and about to pop. Maybe this is due to the fact that there are few people in real life that are willing to listen, actually listen. I’m learning more and more how important that is and how it’s a quality I want to possess.

But sometimes I need to listen to myself. That’s what blogging or journaling is for me. It filters all the thoughts swirling around, gives them order and makes it all seem more manageable. My goal for the month of October is to journal everyday, whether in my Moleskine* journal or here.

Currently on my mind: graduate school. I feel woefully unprepared for graduate school. I have nothing to put on a resume or application. I feel inadequate compared to all the other students whose parents when to grad school or law school, who have their doctorates and these fancy jobs. I feel so unprepared because I don’t know what to expect. I don’t have anyone telling me the process. Next week I hope to go knocking on some professor’s doors and find out some things.

I’m interested in working on doing some undergraduate research. I went to a meeting about how to get started, but I still need to find out some more. I guess more knocking on professor’s doors. One of my problems is I’m interested in EVERYTHING. How am I supposed to narrow myself to just one topic? And is there anything I’m interested in enough to do an entire research project on? I’m considering something dealing with first generation college students or fat stigmatization. I’m leaning more on the second. Gotta start doing some research and find out what I can. Maybe I’ll talk about my discoveries as they come up.

*I loved these journals before they became popular. They are consistently reliable and so functional. They actually lie flat when you write! I just hate feeling like I’m a part of a trend when I used them before they were cool.