I am so mad right now I’m almost shaking. You know, I fooled myself into a false sense of security. I allowed myself to believe things were okay, that I wasn’t trapped, that maybe I would actually get to leave. I thought maybe I could start to plan, to plan a future that was for ME.
I remember when I first realized how trapped I had allowed myself to be. I was so resigned to it that it just became fact and when I heard of the freedom others had I felt a longing for something that I had always wanted but never knew I wanted. I don’t know what’s sadder – realizing that you want something you never knew you wanted or finally allowing yourself to want it, only to have it ripped out from under you. Maybe it’s better to have never wanted in the first place.
