I just finished John Green’s new novel, Paper Towns. In the novel there is a twenty-some hour roadtrip to a fictional town in New York. In the process they must endure lack of sleep, an almost collision, and games of metaphysical I Spy.
I have always loved the idea of those sort of trips. I am a total control freak and I like to have a lot of things planned out. When we plan to go somewhere I usually ask for a general time frame, where we’re going, who we’re going with, etc. But I would love nothing more than to just one day have a spontaneous something.
But I feel like I could never do that with my friends. Even though I get called out for being the sort of lame cautious one of the group, if I ever suggested something like that they would just roll their eyes and say “Yeah right.” I just talked to my friend Theory who complained about wanting to go shopping. I suggested we just skip our classes tomorrow and spend the whole day at this large mall about an hour away. She kept making all these excuses, but the thing is, I really would have done it.
With my friends I can’t suggest a random picnic on the lawn, or even a random trip to the movies. I can’t recommend a night stargazing or dressing up in our old prom dresses and going somewhere for dinner. Shit like that, meaningless, sometimes embarrassing shit like that. Most of those ideas they would give me a look like I was crazy, or if they ever did say yes, it would be just that, yes. Unless I take it upon myself to plan every freaking thing.
For this group if I don’t do the planning and organizing, nothing ever gets freaking done. Sometimes I feel like we can barely coordinate dinner without me planning it all, figuring out who’ll be out of class at what time and which dining hall we’ll be eating at.
I complained about this to Mom, about how I’m so sick and tired of being everyone’s babysitter. Her response is that I’m the babysitter because I’m responsible and diligent. Yes, I know that. But what good is it if you’re left doing all the work for everyone else?
They’re always asking me about deadlines, what forms are due when, etc. I understand it takes only five seconds to answer, but sometimes I just want them to do their own work every now and then. It took me time and energy to look up the website, try and navigate the college’s poorly designed webpage, stress about when it was due, while everyone just breezes by, ask me, proceed to forget, so I feel like I’m left babysitting them and asking, “Did you turn in it? Did you finish?”
I would love to have someone take care of me for a change. Have someone show up with a set of car keys and say, “Let’s go.” “Where?” “Don’t know. It doesn’t matter.”
